I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It[Read] ➪ I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It By Sam Pink – Tbjewellers.co.uk The Holy Bible of Bad Feelings returnsLongtime bipolar idiot Sam Pink brings you right back to the beginning with this remastered edition of his first underground hit Find out why it would be great to The Holy Bible of Bad Feelings returnsLongtime Going to MOBI ï bipolar idiot Sam Pink brings you right back to the beginning with this remastered edition of his first underground hit Find out why it would be great to get accidentally killed by a bus Find out how to perform hardcore sex and never have any fun Find out why it would be better if your mom was a Ugandan hooker And find out how to fill your mouth with confetti before blowing your own head offBecause I Am PDF or a dead horse isn't ever fully beaten Because when you get to Hell there will be a seat saved for you Because you can't afford too many hellos Because every time you come home you stand in the door way and think It's time for a monster to eat me now And then a monster eats youBe brave enough to read this bookBe brave enough to clone yourself then kill the clone and eat it.

Sam Pink is the author of The Going to MOBI ï No Hellos Diet Hurt Others I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It Frowns Need Friends Too and the cult hit Person His writing has been published widely in print and on the internet and also in other languages He lives in Chicago where he plays in the band Depressed Woman.

I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It
  • Paperback
  • 168 pages
  • I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It
  • Sam Pink
  • English
  • 18 January 2014

10 thoughts on “I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

  1. says:

    You will be my friend until I say something to you in person that frightens youthat's pretty much what you need to know going into this book it is a collection of poetic musings by a bipolar writer that really captures the highs and the lows and expresses them in a way that feels claustrophobic but also fresh and lovely even when the subject matter does in fact become frighteningthere are moments of desperate tenderness I wish I were the person you imagine yourself to be because then you'd love me and never let me go Every new relationship is made of cotton and I am a bee that is on fire lost and ready to land When I touch my face to yours I think This is our first mistake I'm looking for someone to spend time withbut I can't afford too many hellosself loathing And I saw my reflection in a lake and I waited for it to freeze a little bit so I could break it with my boot My ideal date would involve painful silence My ideal date wouldn't involve me If I ever decide to shoot myself I'll make sure to stuff my mouth with confetti so it looks pretty for no one And I lie down on your carpet so long that you think I will stay forever but I get up and I see the indentation in the carpet and I get jealous and say I am no longer needed hereand flat out aggression And I fill my mouth with mud and put broken sticks in the mud and while you watch TV I bite you and bruise your arms and leave my name and address by the bruises so people know who gave them to you Sometimes I wish I was a hair on your body because then I could be close to you but not have to say anythingAnd sometimes I wish you were a hair on my body so I could cut you with a razor and not get in trouble Turn you around and hug you And slowly slip a knife through your back so it comes out the front and pierces me and we die connected After I jump kick your face I will kiss it There will be many kisses— an amount that eventually becomes annoying and vaguely frightening And your broken skull is not a puzzle it's just garbage Until I die the world is the yard composed of hands reaching up to shake mineAnd I am the lawnmowerbut then there will be funny little stories like this oneAt the DMV while I waited for my new license to be printed a lady walked in with a stroller At the same time I noticed a sign on the wall that read No eating or drinking I turned to the lady and motioned to her kid Excuse me ma'am read the sign I said Then I realized she wasn't going to eat the kid she was just watching it or whatever But you never knowi really loved this collection i also love john frusciante and i think if you listen to niandra lades and usually just a t shirt while reading I smash my smile against yours my favorite piece in the book you could actually catch bipolar disorder with no previous disposition and then you could write like this Lie down; it's time for me to walk over you and call you a bridge I no longer needcome to my blog

  2. says:

    Not so much a review as a series of uotes from the book interspersed with some things comments out of an obligation to fill the space in between the uotes than out of any desire to communicate anything with anyone about myself or this book And I know different methods of self destruction but none as intense as sitting still by myselfI've got some mixed feelings about this bookOne on the one hand it's hilarious And then I think about some recent things going on around these parts of goodreads and I think isn't this just a funnier version of some of the bullshit we've been seeing lately? I couldn't let current events cloud my ratings though so I went with my gut and gave it four stars because if I had read this at another time I would have thoroughly enjoyed it I hate my headAnd if you don't hate yourself no one willAnd your broken skull is not a puzzle it's just garbageSo be ugly for me or I will hammer a nail into your earYou're pathetic and I draw the world on your face before I step on itI put the shit that comes out of your mouth beneath your noseI sit in my room and cut circles out of the dark and throw them beneath you hoping hoping hoping hoping hoping that you will fall somewhere I don't even know about somewhere I couldn't even reach my hand into if I wantedBecause you are afraid to dieBecause you haven't begun to make it necessary yetBecause your whole life is a fucking coloring bookPlease change your mindI was here firstHilarious right? A sunburned homeless man came up to me yesterday and showed me his forearm There was gaping would along the bone barely held together by office staples The wound leaked clear liuid I gave him what was in my pockets 70 cents That was probably enough to buy staples Enough to keep his wound somewhat cured And me? I'm so great it hurtsThat one really spoke to me being so self righteous and all It's like this guy just gets me Sometimes I just want to give myself a great big hug because I'm so great of a person The desire to give myself a great big hug I believes cancels out all the times I think about doing awful things to other people You know you're truly alone when you feel the need to tell someone abut a nap you recently tookFucking shit I usually tell Karen every time I spent some of the day napping What is my life turning into? But really do you think there is something wrong with a person when sometimes the high point of their day off is a toss up between fighting on the internet with strangers doing laundry or taking a nap? I don't think so either Usually those days off end with learning better techniues at punching someone in the face Come to think of it punching things really hard is the high point of those days unless I get to kick things really hard too Then it's kicking things Kicking is fun When I get to hell I will save you a seatWhen you get to hell I will act like i don't know youOk so maybe this isn't all that hilarious or maybe it says something about me that I found this book very funny while reading it I'm not uite sure where the humor is at this moment though maybe the absurd part of my brain is shut down for the evening Maybe I'm just thinking that there is something wrong with me for being drawn to the depressivepityingviolence of this book And I hope we meet again so you can guess how old I am by the rings around my eyes and I hope we meet again so I can judge how much I've died according to your limp smileKaren's review was better I don't think I used any passages she did But if I did just chalk it up as another failure

  3. says:

    I began reading a random page out loud and everyone in the room made faces At first they asked me if it was something I had writtenI said No And then I added This is by Sam Pink not meSo they asked me Who the f is Sam Pink?And I said Sam Pink is a new author I am trying outI read a couple pages from the book and now all my friends want I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT ITI said Yes to them but really I know I will never give them I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT because I need to frame it above my headboardAnd then I need to video tape my face And put it on a loop at the foot of my bed

  4. says:

    You're walking by a cemetery and you think oh yeah that's rightWhen you read this Sam Pink book you start to say what the fuck am I reading You read it aloud to someone and they look at you like you are brushing your teeth with a toliet brushA hope for a bus to kill you Will you move in with Sam Pink? An incomplete list of things to be reincarnated as To envy the moon with such anger Trips to the library but not for books Genital Mutilation with an unwanted item Sam Pink is a bizarre man but I love it His blurps of how much it sucks and how much he loves it will give you some unforgettable laughterSelfish Asshole I was straight out laughing I can't put my mouth over your cat's head and just stand there while it scratched my face I couldn't pick a scab and put it in your strawberry jelly Don't leave your window open for this guyThings That Details a Trip To The Supermarket Straight out hilarious

  5. says:

    This book was a shattered collection of interesting thoughts arranged for your reading pleasure No plot or any of that stuff to get in the way just straight weirdness from Sam Pink and I really enjoyed reading it as I have enjoyed other books by himReading this book is like sitting on a cold metal stoop in the middle of some unknown city in winter and trying to put together a broken mirror with bare hands so you can see yourself again because you forgot what you look like 55 stars Bring Bandaids

  6. says:

    This is a mixed bag and it has some gems in it Apologies for using the phrase mixed bag in one review but it's apt Some parts feel proto Pink they are a strong pointer to how Pink would later develop as a writer It's a good book for completionists but if you haven't read Pink yet you could do well to leap into one of his later novellas and his latest paired set The Garbage TimesWhite Ibis is something you should get to uickly Later you can come back to this for uality shorts such as Seven Versions of the Same Version and Thing that Details a Trip to the SupermarketIf Pink had been a part of the poetry and prose reading group in Albuuerue that I once freuented he'd be the star for sure It would be exciting to see a 24 year old Pink stealing the show But today he's a star of another caliber

  7. says:

    I've interviewed Sam Pink I've exchanged several e mails with Sam Pink I've read his stories on line I have read his blog and I have even read marveled at his artwork yet as I read through his debut collection I don't know if I know anything about Mr Pink then when I started Much of his book is written in first person but I find myself asking what person At first glance this is a series of surface exchanges mundane encounters filtered through a slightly damaged mind but as the brief stories begin to build certain images repeat and develop However you don't know if these images are a character or the real man behind the personaThe I that fills the 168 pages of Clone is lonely angry confused and experiencing life at a pace and in a location that he has not chosen You feel as though you are reading a diary or somehow ready every thought of this troubled person Yet you are strangely comforted by an odd sense of humor and moments so awkward that they make you smile and look around the room to see if anyone may be watching Despite all of that you still don't know if this Iis the writer or just a reoccurring figure in these puzzling poems I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT was published by Barry Graham and was the first book on his Paper Hero Press imprint It is extremely well crafted and an interesting look at the work and world of one of the most secretive writers in independent lit

  8. says:

    i don’t want to talk about the writing but why was this the saddest book ever and why would anyone recommend this to a heartbroken drowning girl beyond me it’s pretty okay

  9. says:

    It's the kind of thing you need to read a few times like old poetry only less boring Seemingly disconnected short bits long bits prose poetry plays But not that you feel jostled from one thing to the next like thinking where this thought naturally but unpredictably maybe leads to that one Engrossing imagery that sticks to the inside of your eyelids Darkness handled with the innocence lightness the awakening curiosity of an eight year old boy One of those precocious ones that knows too much I can't say enough good about this book without making myself a little sick It's like a fucked up Easter egg hunt and I'm scarfing too many chocolate bunnies Just in time for Spring Even the cover surprisesOh PS I 'interview' the author here

  10. says:

    Sam Pink has a way with words to put it mildly Much of I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It is humorous due to its outright zaniness Pink's lines about intestines are especially funny I will donate my organs provided that my large intestine undamaged will be used as a snorkel 37 and I bet a large intestine filled with marbles would be a good or even great weapon 41 But I do wish there were stories a la 7 Versions of the Same Version and Conversation

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